A friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better...

I am not feeling good. I've had a boring week and realise that I don't really speak much at all if I am not talking to Karen.

I feel really bad. I wish she hadn't gone. I hate myself for thinking that. I hate that I feel so jealous, that I feel like I am missing out on an opportunity and for thinking she's forgotten about me. I hate it. Its making me feel even worse.

Work has been frustrating this week, turf has taken ages to come in and then to take off the conveyor and my cables haven't been long enough etc...

I want this to be over so badly. I feel so left out.

I think I have pulled a muscle in my lower back too as it hurts every time I stand up. I'll get it checked out at the doctors if its bothering me in a few weeks once I have time.

I've been trying to calculate an estimate of what going to Africa is going to cost next year. I am currently up at the £2000 mark and that's without any camera gear sadly. I can't not buy a long lens as that's the point of going to Africa from my point of view; seeing and photographing animals and having a great time with Karen.

I pray she is safe.